Minutes
of the August meeting, 2003
Attendees
Part One: RC, NL, PR
Attendees Part Two: PR, IN
Absentees:
DB, AB, AC, JE, KZ - all AWOL and risking the wrath of the Chairman, and
the Chairman's whereabouts? .... Falariki, Club 18-30 holiday, arrested
for lewd behaviour.
Meeting Part One
It
was a balmy night and the Six Bell's car park looked busy as I cycled
in, padlocking my bike next to a bubble gum machine. Kiddie slot
machines were whirring and as I ordered a pint between rows and rows of
teddy bears, I couldn't help thinking I'd entered a toyshop rather than
a pub. Neil and Richard had just returned from a successful summit bid,
heaving Betty and Rose, with Brian's assistance to the top of Snowdon.
The 2003 Annual Fatman Skittles Championship
Both
lanes of the notorious Skittle Alley were awaiting as kiddies and
parents on mobiles and one-armed bandits, were surging forward, chanting
"GO CHIPPIE", or "ROLL-EM ROWLAND!" or "FAT
LATS FOR SKITTLECHAMP".
With
the ambulance waiting in the car park, The 2003 Annual Fatman Skittles
Championship was underway. First up, Chippie sent two balls hurtling
down Lane 1 as if with superhuman force .... it was the wrong lane, as
the skittles had been set up on Lane 2! The referee allowed him another
go, as he put his specs on and this time his bouncing bombs found their
target ... skittles somersaulted crazily ... he'd scored a massive
seven! Could Fat Lats beat this stupendous start to the competition?
Monteith wielded his balls like weapons of mass destruction! But
back to the skittles. His first ball recorded 132mph on the speed
indicator and four pins shot like missiles in four different directions,
one decapitating the rabbits in their hutch, another smashing into the
playground and the other two lost in the inky black sky above. Fat Lat's
eye was in, and he set that steely eye on the remaining skittles and
sent his second ball down crashing into the helpless wooden pins. Two
went skywards and a third 'did an Al' ... (tottered, spun and teetered
drunkenly before finally collapsing). The crowd cheered. Fat Lats had
equalled Chippie's humungous score! Would there have to be play-off or
could Rowland beat seven?
Pad
checked his balls hadn't been tampered with, the ambulance men were on
red alert, and when satisfied, he got back to the game, started his
run-up ....a hush descended over Lane 2 (everyone had gone home). Pad's
first shot was way off target. Clearly, cycling to the venue had taken
it out of him. Only two pins toppled. It looked like a two horse race
between Chips and Monteith after all. But with nothing to lose, Pad sent
ball two down, like a laser-guided thunderbolt and five pins were blown
into oblivion, like so much sawdust (Pad's score now equalled the high
score of seven) ... but wait ... a sixth pin had received a glancing
blow and was teetering precariously as if it had drunk half a bottle of
gin! The crowd gasped, and the pin kept spinning, time stopped still,
restarted and then slowly, slowly the pin started toppling. It too was
'doing an Al'. There was no way that eighth pin was going to struggle
back to it's feet. Chips and Fat Lats saw defeat staring them in the
face. With a score of eight, Pad won the 2003 Annual Fatman Skittles
Championship. A new name would be inscribed on the Skittles Trophy ...
if we had one (* see AOB). As the applause and cheers died down, victor
and vanquished, returned to the table to resume the meeting.
Swiss Cycle Activity
Chips
attempted (but failed) to reassure members that everything was
organized.
AOB
1)
Pad mentioned that as the Car Rally has a trophy, as does the Annual
Darts Competition, so too should the Annual Skittles Competition. It was
agreed that a suitable trophy should be awarded by the Chairman.
2)
Pad asked members if they'd received his recent email outlining some of
Tommy's proposed activity ideas if we were to go to Bangkok in 2005.
Taking an 'elephant driving course' has a certain ring to it. Further
discussions necessary. Perhaps as skiing is no further than we're going
for the Swiss Cycling activity, we can just call the skiing a normal
activity and Bangkok the special anniversary one! Now there's a thought!
3)
Similarly, time is running out for booking somewhere to go over NYE ...
has anyone given it any more thought? Or are we going to jig our butts
at the party?
4)
Fines for non-attendance were mooted again and the current Chairman's
lack of discipline noted.
Meeting Part Two
Richard
and Neil, dejected, having lost the Skittles Competition, went home
early to cry into their pillows. Pad unlocked his bicycle chain,
switched on his cycle lamps and slowly mounted his steed to head for
home, hoping beyond hope that a member might still arrive as it was only
about 10 o'clock.
Then
just about to exit into Ducks Hill Road, who should come swinging round
almost knocking him off ... Narra's had arrived! Hurriedly, Pad chained
his bike to the bubblegum machine again. Two pints were acquired from
the toyshop and Pad relayed the outcome of the Skittles Competition to
Mr Narra's. As we supped a pint together, a dog lazily curled a big
brown steaming dollop right slap bang in the middle of the skittle alley
effectively preventing Ian's late entry into the competition, though it
didn't impede a gaggle of scruffy bubblegum-chewing barefoot children
from playing in the half light unaware of the smell or squidgyness
between their toes. The dog's owner, a fat crewcut woman was shouting
into her mobile for the rest of the evening, informing everyone within a
half mile radius of her lovelife or lack of and what shopping she'd
bought from Sainsbury's.
The
meeting closed for a second time and members noted that the next meeting
will be abroad in Zurich, or is it Geneva?
