Venue:  Scout HQ - The Neil Monteith Lattimer Room (no less)

Date: Sunday 5th January 2003

Members Present:Dave, Alan, Andy, Richard, John, Neil, Ian, Pad, Keith

Beers:  Mutiny, IPA (party left-overs)



Those attending the party had enjoyed polypins of Mutiny, IPA and Roasted Nuts, especially the latter, which ran out before 10pm. The explosives experts were baffled by the canon’s reluctance to fire. Fortunately, there were no problems with Big Ben’s chimes and 200 balloons cascaded down as usual! The party began to wane by 3.45am, with the final song ‘I’m too sexy’ - appropriate for the few belching Fatmen. After a complete showing of the FMCC DVD on the big screen, members finally laid down their drinking vessels at 5am. During the Chairman’s speech at 12.30am, his passionate plea to the assembled throng for a successor worthy of the Blue Glove Award:- ‘a lady who might hold member’s members’ had certainly impressed members, though it left the punters bemused.

CHAIRMAN”S OUT-GOING SPEECH – Rumblings on the Fat-O-Meter

His speech for the AGM however, was rather more sober. He recalled some of the highs of 2002 including the lady who offered to take us all on, after drinking ‘shagging’ juice - and the lows, when some members just wanted to go to the Chinese restaurant instead! Or the occasion when members found themselves on a Saturday night in a pub with no beer (The Prince Llewelyn, Beddgelert) and reluctant to walk 20yds to a pub with beer. Fortunately the highs outweighed the lows with four excellent activities. Young Ian Crisp’s ridiculously low score on the Fat-O-Meter had brought a new low to the Fatman Fat ratings, but everyone felt better as the Fat-O-Meter grumbled under the strain of the larger members and the result registering on the Richter Scale helped revive Fatman morale.

Neil resigned his post, saying that he wanted fresh blood to take control of the organisation.


Alan passed round a very professionally produced Statement of the FMCC Accounts showing that we were in credit by £39.14p. Members decided to increase the subscriptions to the Club from £40 to £50, though the £100 per activity drinks-subsidy would remain. Monies owed for the NYE Party were then passed back and forth until everyone was satisfied.


Luckily for the AGM, due to some domestic strife, Mr Narracott, had forgotten to bring the Fat-O-Meter, so bottoms stayed firmly on seats, except when beer glasses needed replenishing.

From non-essential AGM paraphernalia to essential - Mr Lattimer had forgotten to bring the Voting Box and during a recent gun crime amnesty, he’d handed in the gun to the Police. Not before holding up a few banks to help finance his tea-drinking habit. It looked as though the AGM would have to be cancelled and re-scheduled for a later date when the box could be brought and a new gun found.

 How could it continue without the time-honoured traditions our club has come to expect and respected so faithfully over many years! Perhaps this embarrassment was the real reason for the Chairman’s resignation.

 The Chairman, suitably admonished suggested members vote by putting a cross on a slip of paper and folding it over to keep it secret. Member’s understandably complained that this method could never compensate for the clattering of balls as they rolled one way or t’other, the expectation as the ‘yes’ and ‘no’ drawers are pulled out and the realisation that one ball is missing in the back of the mechanism.

 John, seizing the opportunity, announced that the position of Secretary should remain in Pad’s capable hands and the club’s finances in Alan’s and therefore no voting for them would be necessary! Members agreed and only the vote for Chairman remained.

 Members were now forced to strike a cross on a piece of paper and this flimsy, insecure method for voting had to suffice. John, Keith and Richard were nominated and John won the vote and was duly sworn-in.

 INGOING CHAIRMAN’S SPEECH – Rumblings on the Fat-O-Meter again

John mumbled something unintelligible and members applauded dutifully. He also proclaimed the banning of the Fat-O-Meter from all activities, but members felt he was using his new found powers a little too hastily and they voted to accept the occasional use of the Fat-O-Meter, if used judicially by it’s keeper – Mr Narracott.


Pad announced suggestions for activities including: Caving, Walking, Barge Trip, Cycling Abroad, Sand Yachting, Kite-Surfing, Sailing, Windsurfing, Skiing, Canoeing Thames, Surfing, Parascending, Survival, Unhealth Farm, Multi-Local, Mud Snorkelling, Horse Riding, Off-Road Biking, Canyoning, Deep Sea Fishing, Ecological and Cheese Rolling.

 As usual, activities that we haven’t done for ages, but nevertheless popular get pipped at the post by the evergreens such as Walking, Sailing, Cycling. Only a change in the voting rules (perhaps with proportional representation) might get the club horse-riding or windsurfing again! There was a tie for the fourth activity between barge and surfing, with the Barge Trip winning, because we’ve surfed fairly recently. Mud snorkelling, cheese rolling and clearing litter - the more extreme activity suggestions remain to be poo-poo’d again next year.


Whilst the implementation of the WAC’s system speeds up this lengthy process, problems still arise when no weekends are available.

 Tough leadership was required to sort this one and John wasn’t found wanting. He fancied some winter-walking and as there was only one red box next to the weekend of Feb 1st & 2nd, John managed to persuade Mr Buck that his gammy knee would constitute a major hazard to the climbing team at high altitudes, in Snowdon’s death zone for example. Members also offered to pull Al’s kitchen ceiling down, if it in some way helped. Al wasn’t sure, but under this threat, he backed down and the weekend was set.

 Other weekends were similarly debated, and this year’s activity list is thus:

 1st 2nd FEB                WALKING (SNOWDONIA) NL to organise

12th 13th JULY             SAILING (BROADS) KZ to organise

20th 21st SEPT            CYCLING (ABROAD) RC to organise ... with supervision!

8th 9th NOV                BARGE TRIP (Tring Heights) NL to organise

 25th Anniversary Activity

Neil said that Brian had suggested a skiing activity could be appropriate for this most special of occasions. Everyone agreed, and a 4 day or even a week ski, if we can wangle it, would be excellent. A special slush fund could be opened to start committing members financially. Besides Brian, other far-flung members will hopefully rejoin us on this special occasion.


With the banning of other halves from the annual dinner (one lasting legacy of Neil’s outgoing chairmanship), members revelled in the venues that could now be considered. Names of restaurants were tossed around like salad: Ruislip Tandoori, The Hollies, The Woolpack - the World is our oyster!

 There seemed too many choices, and as a date couldn’t be found this side of Easter, a decision was deferred.

 Interestingly, very few members had broached the subject with their other halves and were just hoping the change wouldn’t be noticed.

 25th April                        ANNUAL MEMBER’S DINNER (Men Only) - Venue tbc


John, WAC’s in hand was in full flow, nothing was going to stop him!

‘Right let’s decide some more dates!’

26th January                        NEXT MEETING

7th June                        FatMen Only & sons (or daughters) Camp

7th September                        Rounders and BBQ



The new Chairman noted that there might be a minor discrepancy in the Darts Champion’s statistics. But Pad defended his 1997 win, stating that he was indeed Champion in all but name that year because he was winning the final game when it was declared null of void. Pad noted that despite the general concensus that he indeed was the worthy winner, his name wasn’t as yet engraved on the Cup, and that this terrible injustice should be settled forthwith, or even fifthwith!

 Various members noted that their phone numbers and emails needed updating on the Directory again and Neil apologised for spreading a nasty virus from his email address book.

 NYE PARTY 2004 - To have, and to hold???

Unfortunately, members forgot to hold this heated debate, but I feel that it’s important to iron it out sooner rather than later. If we’re keen to try something different next NYE, such as doing a communal type thing and hiring a large enough venue in an interesting location, then it will need to be booked early. Other than that, we’re in for another party at the hut .... or nothing!

 Get those thinking-caps on! What do we want to do?

Let’s add it to the agenda for next month’s already hectic meeting. The main thrust of the next meeting being:

 Transport and logistics for the 2003 Snowdonia Winter Expedition.


NEXT MEETING sees a change of venue ...

26th January                        The Prince of Wales pub 8.30pm


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